--- Metroid Basics---

Let's start off with a few simple facts and clarifications.  Despite what my nephew or your neighbor might think, in Metroid, you DO NOT play as some guy named "Metroid".  A Metroid is a strange-looking sort of predatory alien jellyfish with big claws, like so:

The character you play in the Metroid games isn't even "some guy", it's a woman named Samus Aran.  Like most women, Samus is kind of mysterious--nobody knows her real hair color or measurements, her past is pretty vague (she claims to have been raised by birds), and she rarely shows her inner self.  Here are a few pictures of Samus.  As you can see, she has quite an extensive wardrobe.

Sprites by Infinity's End

You can check out the latest version of these sprites here: http://mdb.classicgaming.gamespy.com/fanart/infy_02.png

It's sort of a given in the Metroid storylines that screwing around with metroids is a really dumb thing to do.  Unfortunately, if you're going to go hopping around space, you never know what planet Metroids might turn up on.  That's because of their unique bio-weapons potential--they've been harvested for experimentation multiple times.  But Samus is a pro at dealing with metroids.  And thanks to her insight, here's a short "What To Do" if you come across a metroid:

Scenario #1: You see a metroid before it attacks you.

If you don't have an ice beam or a missile launcher, try Plan B.

Scenario #1, Plan B: Run away.

Scenario #2: You don't see the metroid before it attacks you, or are unable to prevent it from attaching to your head.

If you have no bombs, try Plan B.

Scenario #2, Plan B: Wet yourself (or worse) and hope the smell drives the Metroid away.

Follow-up Scenario #2 with the steps from Scenario #1 above.

Metroids go through various growth cycles as they mature.  It is possible that you may encounter a metroid that has outgrown their typical weakness to cold and/or vulnerability to bomb explosions.  A metroid like this may be referred to as a "Super Metroid".

Scenario #3: What to do if you encounter a "Super Metroid".

If you do not know how to perform these actions, or they fail to keep the Super Metroid from attaching, try Plan B.

Scenario #3, Plan B: Be present at the Super Metroid's birth so that it feels empathy towards you and refrains from lethal attack.

Metroids are also prone to mutation.  They've been known to mutate into large biped or quadraped forms that bear little resemblance to their original "jellyfish" appearance.  However, these types of metroids have historically been very reclusive, preferring to live in underground caverns.  So the chances of encountering them are slim.  If you do encounter such a metroid, hopefully you are prepared to deal with such a dangerous creature.  These types of heavily mutated metroids have been given such monikers as "Omega", "Queen", and "Prime", and present little vulnerability to exploit.

Scenario #4: How to deal with an "Omega", "Queen" or "Prime" type of mutated metroid.

If you do not have military-grade weaponry available, try Plan B.

Scenario #4, Plan B: Bend over and kiss your ass good-bye.

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