World Class Customer Service by

Good Ol’ Nintendo of America

I’ve got a little story to share with everyone today.  To start, I’d like to point out that I’m trying to capture some video footage of an awesome import for the DS, called Daigasso! Band Brothers.  I’ll write my piece about the game once I’ve completed my video conversions, which are almost complete.  Anyway, capturing some decent footage from the DS is proving to be VERY difficult, as I can’t use the usual equipment we have for capturing game videos.  For the moment, I’m attempting to capture some videos using a DV video camera on a tripod, while holding the DS as steady as possible.  Keeping the image centered and focused in the camera is nearly impossible, as you can imagine.  Soooo, after seeing DS gameplay doubled up on televisions at E3, and knowing that I can download direct-feed footage of DS games from Gamespot, IGN, and a handful of other sites out there, I decided that I’d try contacting Nintendo and their renowned “World Class Customer Service” to find out if I can buy a video capture device from them.  And that takes us to my story.

First I sent them the following e-mail.  And FYI, to e-mail Nintendo, you pretty much have to use their web form.

THIS was their original response.

WTF?!  Does this guy know how to read?  Can somebody point out where I mis-worded my message?  That’s just perfect.

“Oh please, Mr. Nintendo support guy, can you tell me how I can copy video clips from your web site so I can put them on mine?  I don’t know any of the special techniques.”

I really didn’t know what to say to that.  So I took into account that this guy’s job is to ask people if they have a system plugged in, make sure the cartridge is inserted the right way, make sure you’re holding the system right side up, etc. and also factored in that a new support monkey would answer me if I sent another e-mail.  So I responded with the following, along with a copy of my previous e-mail conversation.

Fair enough?  I talked to Leon about the BS response I got the first time, and he found a section on IGN’s site where somebody asked them about how they were going to capture DS footage, and they flat out said they got a device from Nintendo.  It even had a name, though I forgot what it is.  The Nitro Capture, or something like that.  Whatever it is, Nintendo makes it, and anyone capturing direct-feed video from the DS got some kind of device from Nintendo.  I eventually got this in my box.

Well all right, now we’re getting somewhere!  Or so I thought.  I was feeling pretty optimistic at this point, assuming that perhaps I had to call for pricing.  Silly me!  I went ahead and decided to give them a call.  I figured I would most likely be told that we have to be a commercial site or something before we can even talk about buying a device.  I did not expect the second half of our conversation.  I really wish I got the guy’s name.  Here’s the gist of what was said.

I explained the situation, and what I’m trying to accomplish.  He tells me that there is no device of any kind commercially available for sale, and there’s nothing I can do.  I inform him that I’m already aware that such a device is not commercially available (and I’m thinking to myself that the Component cable for the Gamecube isn’t exactly commercially available either), but Nintendo has something to capture direct-feed videos because several web sites are capturing and hosting such videos.  This guy then tries to tell me that he doesn’t know how the other sites are making direct-feed videos, as Nintendo doesn’t have any kind of device capable of outputting a video signal to capture from.  I responded that Nintendo had live DS gameplay footage feeding televisions all over the show floor at E3.  “Oh…  Hmm…”  While he was trying to figure out what to say next, I told him that there’s no way that IGN, Gamespot, or many other sites engineered and custom built their own hardware to get direct-feed captures.  Whatever they’re using, they got FROM YOU.  So he then asks if I can hold so he can talk with a supervisor.  When he gets back, he tells me that they only work with large commercial web sites that partner with them, such as IGN, and that they do not support smaller sites in any way.  He says even though the device I’m looking for exists, I’m not allowed to buy one.  Basically, since we’re a little nobody site, we’re SOL.  He also added that since we’re not a commercial site, he can’t direct me to anyone that can help me.

I asked him if there were any other departments that handle this kind of thing, and he repeated that he couldn’t direct me to any of them.  I asked him if there’s some kind of special licensing arrangement, and he couldn’t say.  I asked him WHY not being a commercial site means I can’t talk to anyone about this, and he just simply responded that there’s nothing he can do to help me.  So I asked one final question, what does it take to be allowed to talk about buying this device, and for that matter, what does it take to become a ‘commercial site.’  He said he couldn’t say.  Alrighty then, I guess that’s the end of the conversation.  He then added at the end he had an idea to help me out.  He suggested that I mount a digital video recorder onto a tripod, put it on macro-focus, and BUILD A STAND AND CLAMP THE DS TO IT!  He then said that’s what the other sites are probably doing.  I said okay, thanks, and hung up.  Thanks a lot, jackass!  What the hell do you think I’m trying to do now?

So way to go Nintendo, that’s some mighty fine customer service you got there.  I think I’m entitled to know what they expect from a web site to qualify as a ‘commercial site’ before they’ll even talk to me, but whatever.

And that’s my rant.  Actually, I’m considering doing a little rant on a regular basis, just to talk about what’s wrong in the videogame world.  There’s tons to talk about, and I doubt I’d run out of material anytime soon.  We’ll see.  Anyway, why don’t you go play a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. Melee now!

            Bruce

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